Poetry Lessons
by SiriousB1
Summary: Help! Hiei has been cursed and now everything he says is spoken in rhyme! Rated PG-13 for language and possible violence. Added lessons for beginner poets at the beginning of each chapter.


LESSON ONE:  
  
Welcome to Poetry Lessons. I have decided that in addition to the story, I will actually give a "poetry lesson." So, the first step, I advise you, is to buy a rhyming dictionary to make you very literary. I think I have one somewhere, but I'm not sure...I can assure you that this product is so, SO much easier than going through the alphabet trying to find rhyming words. A Webster's Dictionary and Thesaurus will also do wonders when writing poetry. An extensive vocabulary helps A LOT.  
  
After obtaining these books (if you can't, act like me and pretend you did :-p), start to think of what genre of poetry you prefer READING. Dramatic, parody, comedy, etc. For the most part, the kind you enjoy reading is the kind you will be good at writing. If you like them all, that doesn't necessarily mean you can write them all. But, I assure, most people can write a dramatic poem...it's making the dramatic poem a good read (as oppose to being really cheesy) that's hard. But that'll be another lesson for another time...Next lesson will be about format; YAY!   
  
Man, I pity you who actually read the above...that was a crap lesson...  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Hiei ran  
Down the street.  
Carrying him fast  
Were his feet.  
  
Glance right, glance left,  
He kept up his pace.  
Anger bubbled all over  
His shadowed face.  
  
"Dammit," he thought,  
Planning the worse,  
"Screw those fuckers  
Who damned me to verse!"  
  
/////////////////////////////////////AT YUUSUKE'S HOUSE/////////////////////////////////  
  
"Here you go," Atsuko said as the burst into Yuusuke's room. She held a tray with a teapot and several cups on it.  
  
"Mother," Yuusuke moaned, "don't you know how to knock? We've been through this a thousand times!"  
  
"Oh, quiet, boy," Atsuko laughed, tussling her son's hair. "It's not like you and your friends are planning to blow up the city or anything!" She scratched her head and muttered, "At least I hop not..." as she exited the room.  
  
Yuusuke sighed and placed the tray on his bedside table, pouting four cups of tea and handing them to his friends. "What were we talking about again?"  
  
Botan sipped her tea and replied, "The mysterious disappearance of our dear friend Hiei." She shivered at what the fire demon's reaction would be upon hearing her call him a "dear friend." "KoEnma is going out of his mind trying to find him! If Hiei is up to no good, then he can get landed in prison."  
  
"If you ask me," Kuwabara said, gulping his drink in one shot, "he is causing trouble. I'll bet he finally got fed up with helping people. He's probably out somewhere trying to steal a sucker from a toddler three times his height."  
  
Kurama suppressed a laugh and said, "I highly doubt that. I don't believe he would leave this place while his sister is still here."  
  
"Maybe he asked Genkai to look after her for him," Yuusuke thought aloud. "We haven't talked to her in awhile."  
  
"Again," Kurama said, after taking about .2 seconds of thought, "highly unlikely. I don't think he'd want anyone else watching out for Yukina when he could easily be doing it his own, secret way. There has to be a point to his absence, something we're just not seeing."  
  
"But really," sighed Botan, crossing her legs, "a solo mission that takes two months? Even I get worried about a demon as strong as him...what if he's...?"  
  
"Relax," Kuwabara said, rolling his eyes. "The little shrimp can take care of himself." His eyes started twitched as though an irresistibly amusing thought had occurred to him. And it had: "He's probably been tied down on to a stretching rack for the past eight weeks!"  
  
"Shut you stupid trap,  
You bumbling ox!  
Say something like that again,  
And I'll burn off your orange locks!"  
  
The laughter between the friends immediately died as the sinister, brooding face of Hiei appeared glaring at them through Yuusuke's slightly open window. His eyes were narrowed dangerously, and the shadow that covered his pale face was even more menacing that usual. There was also his ripped shirt and scarred shoulder to worry about.  
  
"Heh, heh" chuckled Yuusuke, sweat dropping. "Nice timing, there, Hiei. We were just talking about you..."  
  
Hiei wretched the window open enough fro him to squeeze through it and snarled,  
  
"As if I couldn't tell!  
Your ningen stupidity,  
Particularly the oaf's,  
Never ceases to amaze me."  
  
Kurama, putting a hand on Kuwabara's shoulder to restrain him, said, "Ahem. Welcome back, Hiei. Now that our little welcoming party has ended, perhaps you could share with us where you have been for the past two months."  
  
"I was getting to that,  
You pretty-boy fox,  
I just had to first insult  
The boy who sucks cocks."  
  
Botan had mixed feelings about the demon's comment. She was inclined to join in with Yuusuke's hoots of laughter, but, at the same time, she was struck with anxiety. Hiei had never insulted Kurama before, as he held him in fairly high respects. She couldn't even begin to imagine what had occurred to put him in such a foul mood.  
  
Yuusuke, on the other hand, apparently wasn't even thinking about the latter. Through his fits of laughter, he managed to gasp, "Well, I'll be, Kuwabara...He can make fun of you and rhyme all at once!"  
  
Hiei grimaced and folded his arms across his chest. Kuwabara stopped struggling and Kurama let him go. The fox murmured, "Not as stupid as he appears."   
  
Botan, tired of arguing and the following silence, waved her arms to get the others' attentions. "That's a good point, Yuusuke. Hiei," she said, facing him, speaking as politely as her manners permitted, "could you...er, will you please explain where you've been and why everything you say rhymes?"  
  
Harrumphing, Hiei cast a final glower at the orange-haired ningen and launched into his tale... 


End file.
